Only One CHEMO left!!!

My 2nd to last chemo was on Friday. It went well. Not much to write about. We came home and just hung out for the rest of the afternoon. On Saturday I had a great morning. I had plenty of energy and I felt good. We went to Parkway Plaza to buy Bella some winter clothing. But as soon as soon as we were done, right about noon, I had no energy left. We came home and I napped with the girls for 2+ hours. When I woke up, I still was not at my full energy level but I was up and around. Several hours later I was back in bed and exhausted. By 6pm I was almost back to sleep.

Today has been good. I did not get out of the house but I have been up and around. Cleaning, doing laundry, helping the girls with their homework, resting, and updating my blog are some of the things that I have done today.

I cannot believe that there are only 12 more days until my last chemo - which means 12 more days until Winter Break is to begin. When I opened up my blog and saw my time ticker I really was delightfully surprised as I had not thought about how many days remained for a while. 12 short days. I was just mentioning to Ray that I can remember back to when there were 12 days until my chemo was to begin and now I am on the back end of this horrible ordeal. 6 months of possible chemo knocked down to 3 months. How time flies and how lucky I am! TOO BAD my hair will take many, many months past my 12 day mark to rebound. Everyday I have a little bit less, but I am not going to cut it. It is SO sad looking without a headband, bandana, or something to cover most of it.

We had food from Heather, Sara, and Dawn this weekend and that helped to much. Thank you!

I feel NORMAL today!

Sorry that I have not been posting on a regular basis but.....I could give excuses but I'd rather not. I am feeling great today. Too bad I have chemo on Friday because I would really LOVE to feel normal for more than four short lived days. My stomach was bothering me this weekend and my chest was bothering me on Friday so it feels great to feel well.

All the dinners have been great, all the prayers are helping, all the love and support has been heartfelt, and I am hopefull that me and the chemo have been kicking the cancer's butt!

Only 2 Chemo's Left

Yesterday was my chemo#4. It went okay and I was finished in record time. I took an Ativan while I was there and a Compazine right before we left and I don't know if it was the combo of both but I slept the entire way home from San Marcos. I also went to sleep early last night. Maybe that is why I work up at 2 am. Too much sleep throws off my schedule. Luckily after watching a little HGTV and FoodTV, I was able to go back to a sleep for a short while. My stomach is not feeling the greatest right now but hopefully it will get better.

Thanksgiving was great! There were a lot of people there! There were 6 out of my 9 cousins from my mom's side present (Natalie, John Paul and Kristy, we missed you), my 2 sisters with their boyfriends, my 3 kiddos and my hubby, my mom and dad, 8 aunts and uncles, 4 dogs, and about 6 family friends. We took a bunch of pictures so I'll have to post some later.

I was feeling good enough to get out today :-). We headed to La Jolla and had a big lunch at PF Changs and headed to the Bodies exhibit. The girls did nto nap today so we are home now hoping to have them go to sleep early.

I am feeling OKAY

I am feeling better today. I have a growing to-do list that I would like to get done before Turkey Day. Bella, Mina, Melissa, and I are going to go see the movie Enchanted later today. I am excited.

Well, hopefully I will update later.

I am SICK!

I think I am getting, or already am, sick. I feel like I have a head cold and I have been having to blow my nose non-stop since yesterday. So I guess I am not going to have too many (if any) "I feel normal" days this time around. That sucks because I was really looking forward to them. That means that my next shot at them wont be until around December 3rd. That is a long time to wait. :-(

Oh well, on to the next topic. Dinner last night was courtesy of Kathy Ellis. It was great lasagna that all 5 of us devoured. THANK YOU. Dinner tonight is from Adam Gailif and I also was given a Pickup Stix gift card from Lori Powell. THANK you Kathy, Adam, and Lori!!!!!!I cannot stress how thankful we are for everything everyone has done for us. The prayers, the food, the inspirational words, the gift cards, and the many other acts of kindness have been a blessing to me and my family. Everyone has been amazing.

Work got out early today so I am going to go get the girls and then head home to relax. Maybe a little R&R will help get my spirits up.

I hope you all have a GREAT Thanksgiving because I plan on doing so.

I've Been A Slacker

Sorry that I have not posted in a while. Here's what's been going on:

[FRIDAY 11/16]: Friday started off as a good day. However by 10 am I had bone pain from the Neopogen in my chest. It was like the pain I had in my pelvic bone with the last series of shots, dull and distinct. I had an appointment at Zion to have my PICC line dressing change and mentioned to the RN that I was having chest pain. She said that I needed to go to the ER to rule out any other possible reasons that might be causing chest pain. So after an EKG, 2 vials of blood, a chest xray, 950mg of Tylenol, and 3 hours of total waiting, they sent me home. I was okay and it was just the chest wall pain from the Neupogen. Too bad the Tylenol did not work on my stomach ache.

Thank goodness Melissa came over to the house to watch the girls! Since she was there Ray was able to meet me in the ER. It was nice not to have to lay there the entire time by myself. The girls were mad because they were supposed to have a slumber party at Monica's, but Melissa's stayed the night and they had a fake slumber party. :-)

Tracy brought us dinner. The chili was great! Thank you very much!

[SATURDAY 11/17]: So after a crazy night in the ER it was off to work. This is the day that we work during parent conferences that allows us to have the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off. My stomach was still hurting but the day went by fast.

[SUNDAY 11/18]: I woke up with my stomach still hurting from Friday night. I have only 5 days left before my next chemo and I am waiting for my good days. Where are my good days at? My stomach hurt all day and I had to drink this awful medicine in the morning to help it out. I watched the Cooking Channel for at least 2 hours from bed and did not do much all day. The medicine did not start kicking in until 5ish but my stomach was still hurting :-(.

[MONDAY 11/19]: Maryam came over again this morning. This time there were dishes and lunches for her to attend to. We kept her busy. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, MARYAM!!!!!!!!! Also, my stomach does NOT hurt anymore. Hurray for small miracles. I am at work today but there are no kids. It is Parent Conference, so we are just meeting with parent all day. My hair is in pretty sad shape. I am now having to wear a headband/scarf to cover the thining from above. There is really not much left, but what is left is hanging in there. Well, either way, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and seeing all of my family!

Today is the halfway point!

Today is my official halfway point. I guess that means that it is all downhill from here, right? This entire cancer thing, the chemo, the doctors appointments, the tests, etc. are going by faster than I thought they would. I am thankful to have made it through another week. I must say that I was not expecting this to be a good week. The week that followed my 2nd chemo was hard for me. But this time around, I have been pleasantly surprised. If all goes well next week I would have to rate this as my best chemo yet.

I have not been consistent with my blogging this week but there has not been much to write about. The better my days are the less I have to write about. HURRAY!

Maryam was here on Tuesday morning to help me with the girls. THANKS! By the way, when are you coming again? :-)

Janet brought us taco shop for dinner tonight. The girls ate all of the rolled tacos and I ate one too many pieces of quesadilla. THANK YOU! Now that everyone of us has a full tummy, I am hoping we all can sleep like babies.

Goodnight.

I'm Hanging in There!

Bonnie brought us dinner last night. Her pasta was a hit. She also brought some goodies for the girls. They LOVED the Princess Memory game and have been coloring in the mini coloring books with the new crayons. We are truly grateful for everyone's help.

It was back to work again. I am halfway done and have only missed 2.5 days of work. I am so thankful to be able to get out, work, and continue as normal as possible with very little side effects. I cannot lie, the nausea that I had this past weekend was bad but it seems to have passed. Remind me to stay out of the car or to avoid any and all car rides when I am feeling woosy (sp?).

The people that I work with have been AWESOME! Bringing dinners, helping me in the mornings, being understanding, praying and sending positive thoughts my way, how lucky am I! My family has been AWESOME too! I am SOOOOOO very lucky to have the support that I do.

Thank you Brenda for the dinner tonight. It was great. I loved the micro choc. chip cookie. I ate it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top while it was warm.....ummmm...sooooo yummy! Just like a pizookie from B.J.'s. :-)

Work was good today. The kids were pretty mellow. I have eluded the jaw pain...or it has eluded me. But either way, I am so thankful that it has not made an appearence this time around. All your prayers are working! Please keep them coming. They are the key to my recovery!

I had a pretty good weekend :-)

Sorry that I have not posted in several days. It has been a pretty good weekend for me. I have been more tired than normal but have not had many symptoms other than the tiredness. Yesterday we had a birthday party for Mina at Sylvia and Brent's house. I'll try to post a picture later. It was so nice. Mina had a great time. Many thanks to Sylvia, Brent, Loli, and Rosa for organizing everything. We love you!!

On Saturday, Mayam brought over some of James' chili. It was great! There was SOOOOOO much of it. We barely made a dent. Thank you!

Yesterday Brian was here taking pictures. He had his entire photography set-up. We got to see the shots he took of us the day after Halloween and, of course, he took more. Hopefully we can use one of the new shots for our Christmas card this year. Thank you, Brian!

Also, my parent were here for the weekend. They have been here for each of my treatments. They help us with the girls, help around the house, and most importantly provide moral support. We love you both so much and we could not do it without you! Thank you!

I have a problem with my PICC line. On Saturday afternoon Ray went to flush my line and it would not flush. I went to urgent care and they confirmed that it was clogged but they could not do anything for me there. Today I have to call the department where they put it in to find out how to proceeed. Hopefully they have something that can fix it.

I am on the Neupogen shots again. My WBC (white blood count) was good this last time so the shots need to continue to keeps the level up. Shot #1 (round 2) was last night. That went fine.

So, the latest update from Thursday was that I ONLY have 3 more chemos left to go. Both of my oncologists are in agreement that I am to have 6 total chemos and 17 days of radiation. This is 6 less chemos than I thought I would have to have. What a relief!!!!! My hair is still coming out. I am not sure how much longer I can sustain the immense shedding. I have said that before but it still keeps on coming out yet I still have some that remains. Dr. Sweet was surprised to see that my hair was real and that it had not all fallen out by now. He said that for most people undergoing my drug regimen have no hair left by this point.

The picture that I have posted is one that I took in my yard yesterday. This plant usually only blooms in May/June so the bloom is an unexpected surprise.

Chemo#3

While I was once afraid to start chemo, I have now finished 3 treatments. I guess you could call me an old pro. However, it does not get any easier as the treatements progress. I came home feeling very nauseated. So after taking 2 different medications for it that did not work, I had to resort to the ATIVAN which made me very drowsy. But at least I was able to nap. Janet came over and brought a meal from Vicky. We had a nice talk and the girls loved the rainbow slinkys she brought them. Thank you both Janet and Vicky.

I am really tired right now so I will post more tomorrow. I also need to update you on my Thursday appointment.

The Good Days

I am enjoying and thankful for my good days while they last. My hair continues to disappear but again, I am thankful that I still have some. It is thining but most can't notice. Work was good this week too. I am up late because grades were due by 10pm and I just finished with about 5 minutes to spare. :-)

Rosa brought us dinner tonight - thank you! I am not looking forward to Friday but I am looking forward to the 3-day weekend. Mina's birthday is on Monday (she turns 5) so we will hopefully be able to get out and do something with her if I am feeling well enough.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my oncologist so I will update you all with all the info that he gives me. Goodnight!!!!

Another GREAT day & a LIST of things that can help us!

Again, no aches-pains-weird feelings to report. This is a good thing. Just continued hair loss. A ton more in the shower this morning. Oh well, I am gonna fight for what remains until it becomes apparent that I have lost the hair battle.

If you want to help here are some things that would help us out a lot during my chemo days and the week that follows. Those are the days that have been the hardest for me during my last 2 chemos.
•help with the dishes which can pile up from one day to the next
•dinners. On days that I am weak and in pain it would be very helpful to have dinner taken care of. Our oven does not work so things that we usually eat are: pizza (pepperoni or cheese), mexican food, pasta dishes, chicken dishes, garden salad, Chinese dishes such as beef & broc, low mein noodles, house chicken, soups, and I am sure there are other things that are escaping my mind right now.

Yesterday Kerry brought me a warmable heat sack. You put it in the micro and place it where there is discomfort. Thank you! Hopefully I won’t need it too much next week but if I do I am sure that it will help.

I feel GREAT today (knock on wood) :-)

I feel normal which is such a GREAT feeling. I thought this day would never get here. I had a great nights sleep and it was a great day that followed. I had plently of energy, no aches or pains, no issues, and I am so greatful for that. I have the last of my Neupogen shots today and hopefully this one won't give me pain.

This morning Maryam came over and helped me get the girls ready for school. She did Bella's hair, helped me pack their lunches, and did all of the dishes (and there were a BUNCH of them). THANK YOU, MARYAM!!! You being here was a big help. Thank you for insisting on coming over because we really loved having you.

My hair still continues to fall. A ton (almost that much literally) came out this morning in the shower and after as I combed my hair. Luckily you can't tell. At least I don't think you can. I am lucky that it is not coming out in chunks which is what happens to some people. Mine is not coming out in chunks, but shedding at a rate that seems like 500% more than normal. If it continues this way I am not sure how much I will have left by next week.

Tomorrow I will post a list of things that would be helpful for us during my rough chemo weeks. I have chemo on Friday, until then I will take every feeling normal moment and pretend all of last week was a bad nightmare.

Bone Pain?

Yesterday Ramon gave me my 4th shot of Neupogen (1 more remaining) and I was awaken at around 11pm with this weird sensation in my pelvic bone (lower back). I wouldn't call it pain but I think it was associated with the shot. Well, maybe dull pain. I was very uncomfortable and unable to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep in. They say that if you are going to feel the effects of the shot it usually starts in your flat bones and the pelvis is the biggest of the flat bones. I just knew that's what it was. I took 2 Tylenol PM's and strapped the warning pad to my lower back and slept like a baby the rest of the night. Thank goodness! I don't think I could've handled another bad sleep night.

Otherwise there was not much to post about for yesterday. Chemo#3 is in 5 days. I hope to have a GOOD 5 days before I begin to feel all my symptoms again. Having a good week is so important, mentally and physically, so that you can build up the stamina to go through the process all over again.

Cheers! :-)

A day off of work

Today I rested. I took the girls to school and then went to eat breakfast while the cleaning lady was here. I had a big glass of OJ with my meal and I think the acidity of it gave me really bad heartburn. It lasted all day long. I came home, was on the computer for awhile, and then was in the recliner until 2:15. It was nice to be able to just relax. I picked up Bella and Mina from school and then we had to go to the hospital to have the dressing on my PICC line changed. From there we went to pick up Sophia and went to farmer's market. Sophia had a temp of 99.9 degrees when we got home. Hopefully she doesn't come down with anything because if she does she'll need to stay away from me.

I showered this morning and SO much hair came out. It just kept coming out and coming out. Good thing I do not blow dry my hair or more would have probably fallen out. There is are weird prickly pains on my head, a little itchiness, and a little tenderness because of the hair loss. We'll see how long I can last with my hair constantly falling out.

It's time for bed here. I hope to sleep well again and I hope to not have much to write about this weekend.

THANK YOU to all that have left comments. I read them all and they are an inspiration to me. :-)

It is OFFICIAL, my hair has started to fall out

Yesterday was a busy day with Halloween and all. But as I showered yesterday morning and even after as I was combing my hair ever so gently, it was very apparent that I was losing A LOT more than a normal amount of hair. I did not shower this morning but after I ran my fingers through my hair I had gathered enough to make me quesy. I decided to then use a lint roller instead (4 or 5 times) to get all the hair off of my back. I also ran it over my head so that it could catch the ones ready to fall. I figured that I could have used it another 5 times times and still have gotten more out. I am so SAD. I have known that this would happen. I have worked hard to prepare myself mentally, but when it comes down to it - it's hard watching your hair go a little (or even a lot) at a time. Especially when you know what the end result will be. However, I am hopefull. Hopefull that my hair will thin out but not come out in visible patches, or completely for that matter. Hopefully, I might be able to salvage some of the pieces of hair that have been growing for years to be this long. We'll see.

Otherwise my sleep last night was just as bad as the night before. HORRIBLE sleep. I went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 1am, went back to sleep at 2:ish in the LoveSac, was awaken at 3:ish by a ringing cell phone. Somewhere inbetween 2 and 3 Sophia joined me after crying for me in the bedroom, she fell asleep next to me and then I moved to the rocking chair. Maybe at about 4 I got back to sleep and woke up at 5:30am. I just called the doc's office to see what they recommend I do because the Tylenol is not working. I am waiting for them to call me back. Maybe sleeping pills? Ambien? It better be something good!

I am calling in sick for tomorrow. I need some rest! Wow, a 3-day weekend for me, yipee.

Chemo#2 Day 5

My jaw is what hurts today!!! It is like a VERY sore muscle that aches but the ache is in my entire lower jaw bone. It is not a sharp pain, but rather a dull, nagging, draining kind of pain. It seems to be irritated the more that I talk so I guess all the talking I did today at work did not help it any. But what can I do, become mute several days during every chemo treatment? Yah right.

I had my 2nd neupogen shot a little while ago. How I HATE shots!!! Have I mentioned this before? I am sure I have. But I did not feel it - yah! I knew the nerves that have yet to heal from my last surgery would come in handy at some point.

I am so tired right now but I am afraid that I will have a BAD nights sleep as I did last night. No matter which way I was laying last night, there was some sort of pressure being applied to my jaw and that is what made is to terrible. It is a horrible thing - to be tired and not be able to sleep. So that is why I have not attempted to lay down yet.

I hope that day 6 will be better than today. Just as today was better than Monday, I think :-). Only 53 days (1 month, 22 days) until my half way point or my graduation from chemo if I'm lucky.

I feel like I am running a marathon that I never trained or even signed up for and I have to keep the finish line in mind no matter how unprepared I am. I have to run, it is not an option. I was not given the choice. I was left out of the decision making process. What lies inbetween the start and the finish will come and go quickly (I hope) but it is completing the race that needs to be my main focus at all times. There is no looking back. I run for my husband. my daughters, my parents, my sisters, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my distant relatives, my extended family, my friends, my collegues, my students, and for those that I have yet to meet. I run for all those that love and care about me. I can only HOPE and PRAY and have FAITH that the prize for running this ultimate race is my LIFE!!! For that I would run forever.

Back to WORK!

Today was my first day at work since my chemo began. It was nice to get back into the real world. Being here at school, teaching, grading papers, and all of that stuff seems to help me pass the day faster. That is a good thing. Even though my stomach was upset most of the morning, being at work really did help.

My mouth still is weird and slightly painful and my stomach has settled down but other than not much to report which is also a good thing. :-)

Until tomorrow.

So Many Things to Remember

Shots, IV flushes, meds, rest, and eating. It is hard to keep everything straight. Yesterday we forgot to flush my IV (a chore that is supposed to be done everyday) and I had to take my pill for nausea at 1:30 am which disrupted my sleep. I also had to take my first neupogen shot this morning. Luckily I did not feel it since Ray gave it to me in the area that is still numb below my chest from my biopsy surgery. It is supposed to cause bone pain...so hopefully I am not in pain by this afternoon. I am ready to be done with all of this stuff. Too bad it's not up to me.

Skipp and Angela took Bella and Mina to Boomer's yesterday. The girls had so much fun. Thank you both! Sophia stayed behind and napped. Wow...the house was quiet and I even had a chance to nap. It was very relaxing.

Dawn brought us dinner last night. Baked Ziti, yum yum! I am amazed and greatful for all the things that have been done for us. It has helped us get through the beginning of this journey.

The Day After.

I am now down to 56 days until I am 1/2 way done or all the way done with chemo depending on what my 2 oncologists agree upon. I posted on Wed. how the radiation oncologist (Dr. Shiarzi) was recommending only 3 cycles + radiation and then after a converation with my regular oncologist he mentioned that this is a subject that he would need to debate with Dr. Shirazi. So the length of my treatment will probably not be fully decided until the results of my Dec. 31 scan is determined.

Otherwise I am feeling ok right now. It is early 6:33. We don't get to sleep in with 3 little ones! I am hoping for better today and hopefully I will get it.

Chemo#2...How Time Flies

It is hard to think that it was 14 days ago that I had my first treatment. This past week has gone by fast since I was feeling like my normal self. I forgot to post yesterday, SORRY. My PICC line was inserted yesterday and it was not a pleasent experience. The shot of lidocaine hurt like HECK! It was bad enough the first time she administered it but then it turned out that she could not access the vein in my left arm and had to redo the process on my right arm. Hence lidocaine shot #2 (so painful that it brought tears to my eyes).

Also, the nurse called me later in the day to let me know that my white blood cell count (WBC) was low. Normally (in 50% of the people), the WBC is supposed to rebound before the next chemo and mine has not. It is not low enough to postpone chemo but I now need to take shots to booster my WBC @ $500 a pop. That will begin on Sunday. Ray will be taught how to give them to me since I need to take them every other day for 10 days. I don't look forward to the bone pain that they are said to cause. But that is neither here nor there and today is a new day - a chemo day.

My appointment is in San Marcos at 9:30. It should go faster than last time because I don't need to 1 hour inservice/question period that I had last time. Also, since I have the PICC they can speed up the last drug that took almost 2 hours last time.

This time I felt sick before I even left my appoitment. We stopped to eat and the food did not agree with me - or maybe it was the other way around. However, we did stop at a meat market in Escondido on the way home. Ray ordered some carned asada and I picked up a taco and it was so good! This did agree with my stomach or at least with my mouth.

When we got home I watch part of a movie and then went to lie down in bed. I skipped dinner and went to be.

The Radiation Oncologist & GOOD NEWS

I had a consultation appointment today with a Radiation Oncologist. Well, we were given really good news at the appointment. The Radiation Oncologist told us that he recommended that I complete ONLY 3 cycles (6 treatments) of chemo and then 17 days (3 weeks, 2 days) of radiation to follow. I had initially thought that I would be completing 6 cycles of chemo (12 treatments), so I was delighted by the news. That means that my LAST chemo treatment will be December 21 - just in time for Christmas. Kindof like an early Christmas present :-).

We just came home from dinner. We went with Monica, Frank, and Cheryl to B.J.'s. The food was great, but I must say that the Pizookie was the highlight of my dinner - THANK YOU Cheryl. It was nice to get out of the house as we had been indoors for the past 3 days due to the fires. Monica, Frank, and Melissa leave for Dublin, Ireland tomorrow to run the marathon with Team in Training (Lymphoma & Leukemia Society). I wish them the best of luck.

Tomorrow is my appointment to have my PICC line inserted. I hope that goes well.

There is SMOKE everywhere!

I am doing well still, thankfully. Of course it is because of all the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes that many have sent my way!

The fires continue to burn and we have been indoors since yesterday. I have a feeling that the schools will be closed again tomorrow due to the very poor air quality. It will probably end up being all week.

On Thursday I have an appointment to have a PICC line inserted in my arm. Hopefully that will save me from the vein pain that I suffered from for 6 days last week. Of course I would rather not have to do any of this horrid stuff: the PICC line, the chemo, the blood draws, the hospital visits, but what can I do? Grin and bear it, I guess?

San Diego Fires...it's deja vu!

I feel great and was ready to get to work today but many of the schools and businesses are closed due to the 8 burning fires in San Diego County. We (my daughters and I) have just finished 2 weeks of Fall Break and are now waiting to hear what lies ahead for the rest of the week. It was four years ago that the Cedar Fire was burning and we were in the very same situation.

We got a call awhile ago and our district will be closed again tomorrow. They told us that we would get word tomorrow on any closures for Wednesday.

I'm Back

Hi everyone. We are back from Palm Desert. It was a long drive there as we encountered several traffic delays due to construction and an accident. Coming home was a lot more uneventful. Neither of the drives agreed with my stomach. Especially the drive home.

How do I feel? Well I still do not feel like my normal self. It seems that as soon as a chemo symptom subsides there is another one waiting, willing, and ready to take its place. The weird sensations and pressure in my mouth are now gone but in its place my stomach has been acting up. By acting up I mean that I have felt very bloated after every little thing that I eat and have had a lot of gas. Also, I have had to take my nausea meds every morning for the last several days. Yesterday I felt nauseaus for most of the day. The vein in my left arm has been a constant area of pain/soreness since Monday. It seems like I have a lot of issues and I do but most of these things that I have mentioned have not really stopped me from functioning like normal. The nausea is the only one that can really stop me in my tracks.

Missy and Pat came yesterday afternoon for a visit. It was nice to see them. The girls' really loved having them here.

Today is our last day of Fall Break. Back to normal tomorrow with school, work, etc. until my upcoming next treatment on Friday :-(!

Chemo#1 Day#7

I am feeling so much better today compared to Tuesday. Even still, I do not feel like me normal self. I have been having trouble getting a comfortable nights sleep, the vein in my left arm still hurts, and my jaw is feeling weird, and I have a slight pressure in my ears. These are all things that I can deal with. I am just sooooo very glad that my mouth pain is gone.

My, my daughters (not daddy since he has to work), and Rosa are heading to Palm Desert this morning. I'll update when I get back.

Chemo#1 Day#6 & Happy B-Day, Baby!

Today is my husband's birthday and I still have mouth pain. Also, today was the first day that I puked. What a birthday present.

I think that my mouth pain is subsiding. It is still here but not as bad as yesterday or Monday.

Rosa is here right now reading to the girls. First she did all my dishes and cleaned the kitchen counters. Thank you, Rosa!

I plan to feel better for tomorrow so that we can head down to Palm Desert and visit my parents. It will be nice to get away.

....

Chemo#1 Day#5

I had an okay sleep last night. My mouth is still very sore and now the vein in my left lower arm hurts. I am falling apart and I still have 67 days to reach my half way point. What am I gonna do? I have an appointment with the oncologist this morning so he can examine my mouth. Hopefully he can perform a miracle and make the pain go away. I have a feeling it is not gonna be that easy.

Our cleaning lady comes today. That goodness for her! I do not think that I could manage to do all the housework each week and manage my recovery. That is one less stress that I must deal with.

The doctor said that there was nothing physically wrong with my mouth. All he could advise was for me to use Tylenol and the mouth swish/gargle (sparingly). That did me no good. The tylenol doesn't seem to make a difference and the swish makes me numb. And then there is my vein that is still sore. My plan C is to take Tylenol PM a little bit later and maybe that will dull the pain and allow me to get a good nights sleep. Hopefully this is not wishfull thinking.

I wish to wake up and have the pain be gone. Since Ramon's birthday is tomorrow, my being pain FREE might be a nice present for him.

Chemo#1 Day#4

I did not have a very good sleep last night. My mouth was sore and all 3 girls were in the bed with us. I couldn't even spread my legs straight and every time I tried to it would wake me up and I would remember that my mouth was hurting. It was a dull pain so I opted to stay in bed (lazy) then to get up and use the gargle.

I had a feeling that I couldn't be so lucky to have no chemo symptoms. My mouth is painful now. The gargle liquid that Ramon picked up for me yesterday at the pharmacy has been a relief. I have used it about 4 times since I have woken up. The lidocaine in the mixture makes my mouth tingly and numb as if I just came home from some dentist procedure - but it is better than the pain. The nurse assured me that the mouth heals very quickly and that this should last no more than 5 days at the most. I guess it could be worse.

My dad, the girls and I went to breakfast. That was nice. I had a bagel with cream cheese and it seemed to agree with my mouth and my stomach very nicely. I think the bland foods are best.

The new PRICE IS RIGHT debuts today so I am waiting to watch it. I will update later today if anything changes.

68 days until I am 1/2 way done. That seems like a manageable number?!

Chemo#1 Day#3

I woke up 4am to take my nausea pill and couldn't get back to sleep. I guess if my mind wasn't thinking about so many things I maybe would've gotten a little more shut eye. Either way, I have awoken to another great day! I am very lucky. I have not felt ANY of the symptoms that I was told I could encounter, not a single one. All your thoughts and prayers are doing their job. If I was not on vacation I am confident that I would be back to work tomorrow.

I am not sure what we have planned for today but I feel like getting out of the house for a while. I have not been out since chemo on Friday.

I finally got out. We went to Sylvia and Brent's to pick up Bella and Mina from Monica and to drop off my dad. I did not care for the car ride but it was a nice change. At noon is when I noticed that something was not quite right with my mouth. But I did not really notice it was something a little more major until we got home. I talked with the Kaiser nurse and she said that mouth issues are very common dring chemo. It is my tongue that is very sore. Ramon picked up the prescription mouth liquid for me and brought me home a JAMBA smoothie. The nurse did mention that smoothies would also help the discomfort.

Well, the girls are bathed, and ready for bed. The smoothie is a DEFINITE help and I hope that my mouth feels better in the A.M. :-)

Chemo#1 Day#2

I went to sleep at about 7pm and woke up this morning at 7am to rain. That is nice since we really need the rain out here. I had a great sleep. Ramon was a trooper as he woke me up at 8, 10, and 4 to take my Tylenol and nausea meds and made sure I had plenty of Gatorade with them. I feel fine and was not planning on this, so it is a nice surprise. I had this notion that I would come home feeling like a different person, drugged up, symptomatic, fatigued, sad, and not myself and since that is not the case I am so happy! I continue to count my blessings.

I am gonna eat a small bowl of cereal in a bit and since I have not felt nauseous I hope it will be okay.

6:38 p.m.: I am still doing well :-)! I had a great lunch and been drinking a lot of liquid. I think I might skip dinner as it was a big late lunch and I am still full. I will update again tomorrow

It is REAL now

I just got home from my first chemo treatment (2:15 pm). It was a long appointment (5 hours) as we knew it would be. The first one is usually the longest since they spend a lot of the time giving valuable information. It was in San Marcos and I really liked their facility so much that I had them reschedule the rest of my chemos to their facility. Everything went pretty well considering that they pumped me up with a bunch of toxic chemicals. There were 4 separate drugs that I was given. Two were pushes (they are pushed into my IV and the last two were drips). The very last one started to burn my vein so the nurse had to slow the drip down considerably. I only hope that the drugs have begun to do their job already.

I feel FINE right now. No different than I did before we left to the appointment this morning. But as I am told, this will not last. I am just sitting in the rocking chair right now while I am typing this up. I am also trying to eat a little soup and crackers.

Well, I guess there is not much to report right now. Maybe later? If not, I will update tomorrow.

THANK YOU for checking up on me.

My Last Day of "Normal"

Tomorrow my fight begins. A 12 round fight and I have EVERY intention of coming out victorious! It just makes me sad to think that this is possibly the last "normal" day my daughters will get from me for many months. We are just gonna hang out today. Go to the park, play, read, .... Do the things that I might be to tired to do in the days/weeks/months to come. Who knows. Maybe I will have days in which I feel "normal" during my treatment but I cannot predict that. I really hope I do.

I wanted to take some time to thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you have done for me and my family. All the kind words, emails, uplifting comments left on the blog, offers of assistance, prayers, time taken off of work, and for caring about me and my struggle mean the world to us. What would I (we) do without the awesome support system that is in place? I could not even imagine. I am THANKFUL, so very THANKFUL to have all of you in our lives!!!!!!!!

I thought that I'd list my upcoming chemo dates (every 2 weeks) for those that were interested: Chemo#1 - tomorrow, Chemo#2 - 10/26, Chemo#3 - 11/09, Chemo#4 - 11/23, Chemo#5 - 12/07, Chemo#6 - 12/21. As this point I would be half of the way done :-). There are 12 sessions in total. If I am very lucky I might only end up doing 8 sessions. The oncologist said that he would determine this at a later date.

2 Days Left

I think that I counted wrong (shame on me, the math teacher). On Monday I only had 4 days left not 5, oh well. So that makes today - 2 days left not 3. I guess I better tune up my counting skills over break.

Well...what did I do today. MUGA, done!, blood work, done!, hair cut, done!, pick up anti-nausea meds, done! My hair is not as short as I thought it would be but she took a lot off. It does not hit my shoulders, it is about a 1/2 inch above. I love it actually. So I guess I will cherish the time I have left with my great new DO.

The Countdown Continues...

I got my flu shot today. My oncologist advised that I do so before the chemo starts so I have an added defense against getting sick during the flu season. This is another thing that I can cross off my never ending to-do list. Afterwards I went to buy a Gameboy. I figured that Ramon and I could fine tune our Tetris skills during the hours of my chemo. He used to have a Gameboy years ago (before the girls) and we used to sit and play against each other. He is playing it right now as I write - he thinks that he is gonna get a head start.

Tomorrow I am scheduled to repeat my MUGA (heart) test. I took one last week but the image it produced was not as good as it could be so this time they will be injecting me with a different radioactive tracer. I am already tired of getting IV's and now have some scar tissue in the vein in my left arm and the major stuff has not even begun yet. Tomorrow is also the day of my "prepping for chemo" hair cut. My hair stylist is gonna give me a short hair cut so that when my hair starts falling out it wont be as noticeable.

Had it not been for the test the girls and I would probably be in Palm Desert with my parents right now enjoying this week. Well, there's always next year.

As 'THE DAY' draws closer you'd think that I would be more nervous and I don't think I am. I am ready to get the process started and over with! I have a chemo bag that I am going to be packing to take with us to the hospital. I think that I will be working on that on Thursday.

My sisters are actively involved with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and their Team in Training (TNT) program and have been long before my diagnosis. They are training for the Dublin (Ireland) marathon with TNT and raising money for the Society. If you have a chance take a look the website.
[http://www.active.com/donate/tntsdh/tntsdhMDIAZ4]

How I ended up Here!

I guess this is my story. During Spring Break of 2007 I went to urgent care for a cough that I had been battling for weeks (has been gone for months now) and a recent painfull sore throat. The doctor ordered me to have a chest x-ray to see if there was something causing my symptoms. It was a Tuesday. The next day the phone rang and Kaiser showed up on the caller ID. I knew something was wrong because they do not call unless there is a problem. My heart sunk. The doctor told me that the x-ray had shown a mass in my chest and neck and that I needed to have a CT scan ASAP as it was likely Lymphoma. I guess the Tuesday of my x-ray was the last day of normal as I had known it. I remember that day vividly as my parents and 2 aunts were on a cruise to Baja and they were docked in San Diego for the day. That was a fun day. We were at Seaport Village, Horton Plaza, Sammy's Woodfire Grill, and we entertained by the fact that Loli smuggled a chocolate cake off the ship for Angela.

Well back to my story. The CT scan I had confirmed that I did have 2 masses (or 1 contiguous ??), one in the chest and one in my neck. I had a left VATS surgery to get a biopsy of the mass. It was very nervous as I waited for the results. I got the call (after school one day) from the surgeon and the pathology came back non-cancerous. I was so happy!!! Words could not describe. I was referred to a Pulmonary doctor and underwent a series of blood tests to see if they could find an explanation for my tumor. No luck. The panel of Pulmonary doctors agreed that it needed to be removed. They had a feeling that they cancer was hidden deep within the mass and the first biopsy had not produced a large enough tissue sample. So here I was again, cancer was suspected and more tests needed to be preformed. How dumb I was to forget the renew my cancer insurance in February.

Well, to make a long story short, I had another CT scan and it showed that the tumor had grown about 1 cm in about 4 months. My 2nd surgery was scheduled, a left VATS again. This time my doctor said that he was going to take the whole thing out! He did and 8 days later the diagnosis was in: LYMPHOMA. That was a sad day.

I have since met with the oncologist twice, have had numerous other tests, and have finally scheduled my chemotherapy, and so continues my story...

5 days until my chemo starts

Today is Monday and my first chemo appointment is right around the corner. As much as I wish that day would come, I know that the sooner I begin this fight the sooner it will be over. I am scheduled to have a treatment called ABVD. It is an acronym for the 4 drugs used in the treatment. The treatment will be given once every 2 weeks for a period of 4 - 6 months. I am told that it will most likely be 6 months rather than 4, but that will not be decided at this stage of the process. I guess enduring chemo and all the its effects is a small price to pay to save my life.

I just ordered a Livestrong Survivorship Notebook. It is supposed to help organize and guide you through the cancer experience. Hopefully it will arrive in time. I have a pulmonary function test today to provide a lung function baseline as one the chemo drugs can cause lung damage. I am on Fall Break for 2 weeks so I might as well enjoy this week while it lasts because I am not quite sure what the weeks and months to come will bring.