A day off of work

Today I rested. I took the girls to school and then went to eat breakfast while the cleaning lady was here. I had a big glass of OJ with my meal and I think the acidity of it gave me really bad heartburn. It lasted all day long. I came home, was on the computer for awhile, and then was in the recliner until 2:15. It was nice to be able to just relax. I picked up Bella and Mina from school and then we had to go to the hospital to have the dressing on my PICC line changed. From there we went to pick up Sophia and went to farmer's market. Sophia had a temp of 99.9 degrees when we got home. Hopefully she doesn't come down with anything because if she does she'll need to stay away from me.

I showered this morning and SO much hair came out. It just kept coming out and coming out. Good thing I do not blow dry my hair or more would have probably fallen out. There is are weird prickly pains on my head, a little itchiness, and a little tenderness because of the hair loss. We'll see how long I can last with my hair constantly falling out.

It's time for bed here. I hope to sleep well again and I hope to not have much to write about this weekend.

THANK YOU to all that have left comments. I read them all and they are an inspiration to me. :-)

It is OFFICIAL, my hair has started to fall out

Yesterday was a busy day with Halloween and all. But as I showered yesterday morning and even after as I was combing my hair ever so gently, it was very apparent that I was losing A LOT more than a normal amount of hair. I did not shower this morning but after I ran my fingers through my hair I had gathered enough to make me quesy. I decided to then use a lint roller instead (4 or 5 times) to get all the hair off of my back. I also ran it over my head so that it could catch the ones ready to fall. I figured that I could have used it another 5 times times and still have gotten more out. I am so SAD. I have known that this would happen. I have worked hard to prepare myself mentally, but when it comes down to it - it's hard watching your hair go a little (or even a lot) at a time. Especially when you know what the end result will be. However, I am hopefull. Hopefull that my hair will thin out but not come out in visible patches, or completely for that matter. Hopefully, I might be able to salvage some of the pieces of hair that have been growing for years to be this long. We'll see.

Otherwise my sleep last night was just as bad as the night before. HORRIBLE sleep. I went to bed at 10:30, woke up at 1am, went back to sleep at 2:ish in the LoveSac, was awaken at 3:ish by a ringing cell phone. Somewhere inbetween 2 and 3 Sophia joined me after crying for me in the bedroom, she fell asleep next to me and then I moved to the rocking chair. Maybe at about 4 I got back to sleep and woke up at 5:30am. I just called the doc's office to see what they recommend I do because the Tylenol is not working. I am waiting for them to call me back. Maybe sleeping pills? Ambien? It better be something good!

I am calling in sick for tomorrow. I need some rest! Wow, a 3-day weekend for me, yipee.

Chemo#2 Day 5

My jaw is what hurts today!!! It is like a VERY sore muscle that aches but the ache is in my entire lower jaw bone. It is not a sharp pain, but rather a dull, nagging, draining kind of pain. It seems to be irritated the more that I talk so I guess all the talking I did today at work did not help it any. But what can I do, become mute several days during every chemo treatment? Yah right.

I had my 2nd neupogen shot a little while ago. How I HATE shots!!! Have I mentioned this before? I am sure I have. But I did not feel it - yah! I knew the nerves that have yet to heal from my last surgery would come in handy at some point.

I am so tired right now but I am afraid that I will have a BAD nights sleep as I did last night. No matter which way I was laying last night, there was some sort of pressure being applied to my jaw and that is what made is to terrible. It is a horrible thing - to be tired and not be able to sleep. So that is why I have not attempted to lay down yet.

I hope that day 6 will be better than today. Just as today was better than Monday, I think :-). Only 53 days (1 month, 22 days) until my half way point or my graduation from chemo if I'm lucky.

I feel like I am running a marathon that I never trained or even signed up for and I have to keep the finish line in mind no matter how unprepared I am. I have to run, it is not an option. I was not given the choice. I was left out of the decision making process. What lies inbetween the start and the finish will come and go quickly (I hope) but it is completing the race that needs to be my main focus at all times. There is no looking back. I run for my husband. my daughters, my parents, my sisters, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my distant relatives, my extended family, my friends, my collegues, my students, and for those that I have yet to meet. I run for all those that love and care about me. I can only HOPE and PRAY and have FAITH that the prize for running this ultimate race is my LIFE!!! For that I would run forever.

Back to WORK!

Today was my first day at work since my chemo began. It was nice to get back into the real world. Being here at school, teaching, grading papers, and all of that stuff seems to help me pass the day faster. That is a good thing. Even though my stomach was upset most of the morning, being at work really did help.

My mouth still is weird and slightly painful and my stomach has settled down but other than not much to report which is also a good thing. :-)

Until tomorrow.

So Many Things to Remember

Shots, IV flushes, meds, rest, and eating. It is hard to keep everything straight. Yesterday we forgot to flush my IV (a chore that is supposed to be done everyday) and I had to take my pill for nausea at 1:30 am which disrupted my sleep. I also had to take my first neupogen shot this morning. Luckily I did not feel it since Ray gave it to me in the area that is still numb below my chest from my biopsy surgery. It is supposed to cause bone pain...so hopefully I am not in pain by this afternoon. I am ready to be done with all of this stuff. Too bad it's not up to me.

Skipp and Angela took Bella and Mina to Boomer's yesterday. The girls had so much fun. Thank you both! Sophia stayed behind and napped. Wow...the house was quiet and I even had a chance to nap. It was very relaxing.

Dawn brought us dinner last night. Baked Ziti, yum yum! I am amazed and greatful for all the things that have been done for us. It has helped us get through the beginning of this journey.